


Tony Reads Chbosky

by Daiya_Darko



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Depression, M/M, the perks of being a wallflower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 19:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve joins a book club and the current read is "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. Tony scoffs, initially, until he reads a certain line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony Reads Chbosky

Steve had joined a book club.

“I want to catch up on reading, at least.”

Tony nodded.

Tony did not nod his head as in, “Oh that’s interesting. Keep me up to date with everything you read, Steve.” He had meant that nod in, “I hear you, but I don’t care enough to say anything.”

And with a smaller voice in the back of his head, he added, “Gay.”

But Steve came to Tony and went on for hours about books he had read and how things had changed so much. Usually, Steve’s “Oh man I’ve been out of the loop! Everything is new and horrible/awesome!” tangents were cute, if not pitiful, but Tony didn’t care about literature. It wasn’t out of ignorance; he’d read a book on quantum physics for fun, but why read when there are movies and television?

And then Chbosky came, and Tony knew he was going to hate him from the get go.

“ _The_   _Perks of Being a Wallflower_? What, did someone write a biography about you?” Tony looks the thin book over a few times before sliding it across the table back to Steve. The soldier picks it up indignantly and says, “You know, maybe they did. I can relate so much to this book. It’s wonderful, Tony. I never knew someone could write something so profoundly personal.”

Tony snorts. “Yeah, and in that moment I swear we were grossly uninteresting. I’ll wait for the movie, thanks.”

“I believe the quote goes, ‘And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.’” A voice says from behind.

Steve and Tony turn their eyes to Bruce, who had been standing in the door way with a mug in his hand. He looked disheveled, even for the doctor, who never really concerned himself with material possessions.

“You like  _Perks_?” Steve asks excitedly. “You should come to the book club!”

Bruce smiles sadly and shakes his head. “When is it?”

“In a month.”

“I won’t be here by then,” the doctor says and fills his cup with fresh water.

“Where are you going? And why didn’t you tell me?” Tony asks curtly.

“Us,” Steve corrects.

“ _Me_ ,” Tony says with a tone of finality.

Bruce chuckles and walks out.

Steve cocks an eyebrow and leans across the table. “Is everything okay with him? He seems kinda down.”

Tony shrugs. “He said he’s always angry.”

“’She wasn’t bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.’” Steve quotes.

“She? Excuse me, but do you know something I should have known first?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “It’s from the book.” He slides it across the table and stands. “Just think about what I said, okay? And maybe read the book?”

Tony picks up the book and grumbles. He decides to humor Steve and read it, if only to memorize lines and annoy the hell out of him later. Yet as Tony continues to read, he finds himself looking into the life of someone so unlike him that he can’t help but feel intrigued. He comes across the line Steve had read aloud to him, and when it clicks in his head, he could almost kill himself.

He jumps up from the table, runs to the elevator, and hits the button for Bruce’s floor. The ride only takes a few seconds, but those seconds feel like years, and when the doors open, Tony sprints onto the barren floor and runs down the hall.

“Bruce?” He calls as he sticks his head in every door. “Bruce!”

Tony arrives at the final door at the end of the hall, and it’s shut. He thinks about knocking, but surely Bruce would have heard him by now. He opens the door a crack to see a large body lying beneath blankets, the light from the hall illuminating the bed.

“Bruce, are you okay?” Tony questions. No answer comes.

“Hey, get up,” he goads nervously. “I’ll take off my clothes and get in next to you if you don’t say something.”

“Isn’t that usually a reward, not a threat?” Bruce’s voice is groggy, but he peeks his head from under the covers.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sad?”

Bruce pushes the covers down some and sits up. “If I don’t answer you, will you get in bed with me half-naked?”

Tony can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but chooses to pretend he is. “I don’t know. Like you said, that kind of action is usually a reward.”

Bruce smiles and pulls back the covers. “It’s up to you. I’ll answer either way.”

Tony gives him a side-eyed glance as he walks over to the bed side and begins to remove his clothes. He slides under the covers and pulls them up to his chin. He can’t help but feel somewhat childish with Bruce grinning at him like that.

“I made you my bitch.”

“I was concerned about you!”

Bruce laughs. “You didn’t care until Steve threw a book in your face.” Bruce’s smile falls. “Yeah, I’m sad Tony.”

“The kind that takes time?” Tony’s voice is small; he’s never dealt with someone like Bruce before, someone so  _sad_.

But the doctor sighs and looks up past Tony’s head. “I’m not sure. I’ve been giving it time ever since my little episode, but some days it just feels futile.”

Tony doesn’t know what to say, so he remains silent.

“I think it’s the hopeful kind of sad, because I like helping people and I think it makes me truly happy. It’s just that I can never be truly happy because of the other guy.”

“So you have the possibility of true happiness, but you can’t get to it because of yourself. Gee, sounds like a lot of psychological mumbo jumbo. Maybe you should just try being happy. Period.”

“Tony, people can’t just _be_  an emotion they’re not.”

“Sure they can. I do it all the time.”

“And how do you feel at the end of the night when you’re lying all alone?” Bruce’s voice is sharp and comes out in a whisper. It sends a shiver down Tony’s spine.

“I don’t know.”

“Yeah you do. You feel pointless. You think, ‘I can’t feel how I want to feel, so what’s the point?’ Am I right?”

Tony whispers, “Yeah.”

Bruce slides his hand under Tony’s neck and pulls his body closer with his other hand. Their foreheads press together and Tony can feel his pulse in his arm and his breath on his face.

“I’ve found my point. Where is yours? Is it Iron Man? Because that’s pretty good, but what happens when you get old, Tony?”

Tony’s brow furrows and he snaps, “You’re gonna get too old to hulk out or save sick people in the back woods too!”

“But that’s my secret. My point is ageless. The point for me to keep on is the fact that I can. I can do so much good now that I can do nothing later. That’s the point for you too. You’re just so full of negativity and pain, and I understand it, but you can’t let it cloud your ability to see the good.”

Tony has nothing to say, so he just kisses him on the lips. He can feel Bruce smirk against him and return the kiss chastely.

“And in that moment,” Tony says as he pulls away.

“I swear you should shut the hell up and kiss me some more,” Bruce finishes.

**Author's Note:**

> Just something relatively light (light for me). I thought of this story after reading this quote (I've read the book, but it's been a year): “She wasn’t bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.”


End file.
